


Shitty Problems

by mea_S



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Boys In Love, Explicit Language, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, I Don't Even Know, M/M, This is so weird and hilarious I’m dying, What Have I Done, implied nsfw, wtf is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24548575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mea_S/pseuds/mea_S
Summary: Hinata Shouyou has bad luck.Because no matter where he goes, no matter where he’s at, he always manages to clog the toilet.And Hinata knew this day was bound to come.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Shitty Problems

**Author's Note:**

> what. the actual. fuck.
> 
> Honestly, I don’t even know what I fucking wrote. Istg I just found this in my drafts from a couple months ago and...  
>  _w h a t_  
>  does this even count as fluff???

Hinata Shouyou has bad luck.

Because no matter where he goes, no matter where he’s at, he _always_ manages to clog the toilet.

Whenever he needs to use the bathroom somewhere, the toilet gets blocked up with too much toilet paper or shit or food that he tried to flush down the toilet because it was disgusting. But here’s the thing, it doesn’t happen _all_ the time. Maybe it’ll be on his second visit to a bathroom somewhere, or the fifth—it’s all a mystery. But what _doesn’t_ remain a mystery is the fact that it _always happens_ at least _once_.

And Hinata knew this day was bound to come.

Because now he stands in the bathroom of his new apartment—he and Kageyama bought it just last month—at 2am after a night of various activities that left his legs bowing and Kageyama bright red, and the toilet water _won’t fucking go down_.

“Shit, shit,” Hinata mutters, staring at the rapidly rising water. He backs away from the toilet, tripping on his own feet and tumbling into the tub behind him. He ends up becoming a mess of frantically flailing limbs and shower curtain before his head finally pops free from the curtain, and he glowers at the toilet once more.

Finally, he manages to jump out of the shower, leaving the ruined shower curtain crinkled and slightly torn in the tub. He blanches at the sight, and realizes that he’s absolutely _fucked_.

“Hinata?”

Hinata absolutely pales when he hears his boyfriend’s voice beyond the bathroom door. His lips move uselessly around unspoken words before, finally, he manages to squeak out, “yes?”

“Uh,” the doorknob jiggles once, “how much longer are you gonna be in there? I have to pee.”

Hinata inhales a breath that shudders his chest. “Uh, never?” His voice sounds shrill, like he’s hiding something, because he _is_ hiding something. 

“What?” Kageyama’s tired voice hisses. “Hinata, _open the door_.” The door knob jiggles again, and then there’s the light rapping of knuckles against the door.

Hinata backpedals further into the bathroom, pressing his back against the wall behind him almost as though he’s asking for the plaster to swallow him up. “No,” he squeaks out, “I _can’t_.”

“Shou- Ugh, goddammit.” Kageyama’s voice goes on, mumbling a string of curses, although it sounds as though he’s retreating back into their shared apartment if the pitter-patter of his footfalls and voice becoming fainter and fainter are any indication. Hinata exhales a would-be breath of relief that does not help in relieving the tension in his shoulders, and he glares at the porcelain toilet once more. 

He sighs and sinks down to his knees on the floor, defeated, because they don’t have a plunger, and now he finds himself cursing at himself when he dismissed Kageyama’s pressing for him to get a plunger when they were buying the toiletries. He should’ve known better.

But then, a few minutes later, as Hinata is still mentally kicking himself and wishing he never took a shit in the first place, the lock on the door clicks by itself, and Hinata lifts his head just a second too late to watch the door swing open.

“No!” He cries, hopping up to his feet and sprinting to shut the door. Shit—he forgot they had a pin to unlock the bathroom door in the house.

“What the fuck? Hinata, _let me in!_ ” Kageyama growls, but Hinata only throws all of his weight onto the door to keep Kageyama from opening it again.

“No, I can’t!” He exclaims, although now he feels resistance as Kageyama starts to shove the door open.

“Why _not?”_

“Because I _clogged the toilet!_ ” Hinata screeches, red all the way up to his ears when he admits this.

In the blink of an eye, the force on the other side of the door disappears completely, sending Hinata tumbling into the wood as it shuts closed. He winces at the ache in his shoulder, but then slowly peels himself off of the door and looks at the chipped wood with a frown.

“‘Yama?” He squeaks, terrifies that Kageyama will break up with him for such a stupid reason.

But then there’s a prolonged, almost exasperated-sounding sigh from the other door. And then, “you _what?_ ”

Hinata bristles, but then opens the door ajar and peeks his head through the tiny crack. “I-I uh… I clogged the toilet.”

On the other side, he sees Kageyama’s exhausted face, though his dark eyebrows are pinched together in agitation as he frowns.

“You dumbass. You fucking dumbass,” he murmurs, shaking his head before he stalks further into the apartment. Hinata peels the door open wider, watching Kageyama’s dark figure retreat to the entryway and slip his shoes on, and upon notices his actions, Hinata blanches.

“N-No! Wait! Don’t leave me!” Hinata cries, running out of the bathroom and throwing himself onto his knees behind Kageyama, lowering his head so far that it touches the wooden flooring. The latter startles at Hinata's sudden cry, turning to face his boyfriend from where he stands in the genkan with a scowl.

“I’m not leaving you, dumbass,” he says.

Hinata lifts his head from his boy, eyes shining with tears. “Y-You’re not?”

“No, I’m not,” Kageyama grumbles out, looking away with cheeks tinged pink as he tacks on, “I’d never leave you.”

“Oh.” Hinata sounds relieved, but now he also looks confused. He looks down the platform to where Kageyama still stands, feet tucked in a pair of shoes as he stands in the genkan, and then he looks back up at his boyfriend and cocks a curious, orange brow. “Then… where are you going?”

“To fix your problem,” Kageyama grunts, though his words only hold half of their usual conviction. Hinata watches, still completely confused as Kageyama leaves the apartment, and he instantly shivers at the chilly air that floats into the apartment from the opened door. 

Ten minutes later, Kageyama returns, bright red with a plunger in hand, and he thrusts the object in Hinata’s direction with a scowl.

Hinata only stares at the item dumbly before Kageyama shoves it into his chest and he realizes, _oh_ , that he’s meant to _grab_ it, so he curls his fingers around the wooden part of it and holds it in his hand.

“Where did you-“

“It’s the neighbor’s,” Kageyama interrupts. “Hurry up and… fix what you did. They’re waiting.”

Hinata stares dumbly at Kageyama before finally realizing which the raven had done for him, and he hops up to his feet as a grin spills on his lips.

“Okay!” He cheers, running into the bathroom to further _take care_ of what he unleashed onto their poor, puny toilet. When he rushes back to Kageyama who still stands by the door, he’s smiling like an idiot as he hands the plunger back to Kageyama.

“Thank you!” He says with a smile before he presses his lips to his boyfriend’s cheek.

Blue eyes widen in surprise before shrinking back to size, fairly embarrassed as Kageyama mumbles, “ _Hinata-boke_ ,” before stalking back to their neighbors.

Hinata giggles before he retreats back into their bedroom and plops down on their shared bad with a satisfied smile. He realizes now, albeit a bit belatedly, that Kageyama must’ve had to tell their neighbors that _he_ was the one who clogged the toilet and not Hinata, and at this, Hinata snickers to himself and lets himself fall asleep.

He loves his boyfriend and everything Kageyama does for him.

Even if his attempts at reciprocating Kageyama’s (sometimes unintentional) sweet acts are (pun intended) shitty.

Because at the end of the day, they both know that they love each other and, if it came down to it, they’d go over to their neighbor’s and ask them from a plunger at 2am for each other because that’s just how much they care.

When Kageyama eventually returns and joins him in bed, Hinata nuzzles into the crook of his neck and, as they’re both falling asleep, Kageyama murmurs, “oh, and the neighbor’s think you’re my son now.”

  
  
  
  


It takes a minute for Hinata to realize what Kageyama means; when he does, he shoots up in bed and glares down at his boyfriend’s shadowy figure huddled next to him. “What?” He cries.

Kageyama snickers a bit. “I told them I needed a plunger and the lady said that she heard our bickering and ‘knew that my son needed the plunger.’”

Brown eyes widen in horror and betrayal. “I’m not a kid!” He cries.  
  
Kageyama’s snorts. “You’re as short as one, though.”

”Wait- you mean you _didn’t_ tell them that you did it?!”

Hinata can barely make out the sight of Kageyama scowling up at him in the bed. “Gross, no.”

Hinata scrunches his nose up. “But-“

“It doesn’t matter now,” Kageyama interrupts. He reaches up and wraps his arms around Hinata, tackling him into the matters before he gives a gentle order: “sleep.”

And when Hinata eventually acquiesces and decides to let it go, they both fall asleep.

His final thought before he lets his wave of exhaustion carrying him away is, _shitty-yama_.

**Author's Note:**

> don’t ask me any questions cuz i don’t have any answers


End file.
